Guide to Talking Dirty During Sex: 107 Tips and Examples

Choose a Girl

This should be obvious, but if Jason Derulo’s lyrics are any indication, it is not. Part of not sounding ridiculous is using sexy terms for body parts. Tits and boobs are both acceptable, but don’t you dare use the c-word (unless your partner has asked you explicitly to do so). There’s no need to get fancy or poetic; you’re not writing an essay for AP Lit, okay?

“I feel so weak and turned on at the same time when I’m in your arms.”

Don’t pressure yourself too much—you don’t need to go full throttle and talk throughout your entire sex session, after all. “If you’re new to talking dirty, begin with some generous but honest verbal feedback that includes moans, groans, deep exhales, or other sounds to let your lover know that you’re enjoying yourself,” she says. If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. Start narrating what you’re doing to your partner’s body and how they make you feel.

Tips For Total Body Ecstasy

The next “level”( so to speak) of dirty talk is foreplay. This is where the flirting gets more specifically sexual. If foreplay is a new concept to you, start by reading our Foreplay all Day Long post or our Fun Foreplay post for more specific ideas! For our purposes here, foreplay is the part of dirty talk where you start exploring sexually. Consider what things you have done or want to do sexually that really get you going.

An “mmm,” “oh baby,” or similar moan-inspired sound will encourage your partner to continue what they’re saying or doing. They’ll be more likely to help you feel that same feeling. The start of a conversation is also a good time to exchange any no-fly trigger words. There’s no denying that the pandemic is creating all sorts of new obstacles for sex and intimacy. Reframing those as opportunities to experiment with things you otherwise would never bother with can be a stimulating way to cope. Maybe you’re more interested in linguistically exploring taboos centered around specific situations, like threesomes, public play, or voyeurism.

But it can sometimes be tough to think straight when your mind is occupied by, um, other things — so feel free to slip a few of these freaky things to say into your back pocket. Learning how to talk dirty should be fun, so try to relax and go with the flow. If you’re new to dirty talking, you can try it in written form (through messaging / texting each other) rather than talking in person. This gives you some time to think about what to say. Sometimes the teasing & banter back-and-forth, speaking in code (especially while others are around) can be quite thrilling too, so don’t rule out dirty talk in person.

Sean Jameson is a sex expert and founder of the Bad Girl’s Bible website, where you can learn more advanced and ‘out there’ examples to help improve your sex life. Speaking slowly is almost always more powerful than speaking quickly when talking dirty. Now’s the time to dirty talk yourself using some of the following suggestions.

Get better at your sexual communication by talking about your favorite parts and why, anything you learnt, and/or anything you struggled with,” she says. In addition to verbal cues, she also highly recommends that people be on the lookout for non-verbal cues too, as these can be vital to gauge the comfort levels of someone. “Be clear of the line between playful nudging and coercion. Never cross the line into coercion-even in dirty talk — do not confuse that with coercion or sexual power play that is clearly asked for and consented as a part of the dirty talk scene,” Hauser states. “Mutualistic dirty talk is sexy because it’s a positive bid to connect with your partner. And research supports that when these bids are accepted, they not only improve overall relationship satisfaction but ultimately build trust between partners,” says Rullo.

• “Because sexy talk can be about fantasy, it can offer people a way to play in a certain domain without wanting to, or being able to, engage in those behaviors,” says Gowan.
• Knowing what excites each other and the limits sets a comfortable and healthy foundation,” she suggests.
• I mean, talking dirty is vulnerable, and I feared that seeing professionally hot people fail so miserably and publicly at it might be enough to silence a whole generation.
• Speaking to Naomi in this episode is just a tiny insight to what she actually does day to day.
• “You can progress to role-playing in stages that march in key with your comfort and familiarity with your partner and the progressive level of each partner’s arousal,” says Love.

No need to channel a porn star right out of the gate. Say what feels natural to you in the moment, and definitely don’t feel like you have to construct some elaborate sex narrative beforehand. This isn’t some weird sex monologue; you don’t have to talk the whole time. Even just a well placed “I can’t wait to feel you inside me” as you walk through the door or when you kiss can do the trick.

Recently I stumbled upon Quinn, which is an app for audio erotica and I am in love with it. Something about listening to a hot Irish guy telling you he wants you… it makes me giggle and also feel loved. I do not rely solely on audio erotica, but I definitely do enjoy it. Audio can take you into a whole new world, set the scene. But music is always a nice way to mask sounds for privacy and to keep the energy flowing and moving. I tend to like something with a good beat or groove.

“When you’re trying something new in the bedroom, talking about it can help set the stage and engage your partner’s desires,” Luna Matatas, a sex and pleasure educator, tells Elite Daily. “You can mention that you’re curious about dirty talk and ask what your partner’s experience is with it or what they think about it. If you’re nervous about trying it out or worried about feeling silly — let them know this too. This can give your partner an opportunity to affirm you, and it can help you take the pressure off of performing perfectly.” Plus, if dirty talk isn’t for you, definitely let your partner know. As forced as it sounds when you read it, many of us love hearing dirty talk in the bedroom.